I have been going back and forth with writing a new blog post due to various reasons on my end, but finally felt a need. What the hell, right? So this may cause me more work later, I’ll explain that in a bit.
My thought for this post was all about how hard life can be sometimes. I was going to come on and write about how my brain doesn’t work and I have so many things that I’m juggling and sometimes I feel like I am drowning in it all. Then I watched a training video about overcoming fear in your business (shoutout to Cole’s Classroom) and the trainer said “we all have excuses.” Such a simple thing that I’ve heard a million times, but I really needed to hear that today.
Even though my “issues” are really just excuses, I still want to share a few of the excuses in my life. I am a mom to two young children who take up a lot of time. I work full time at an amazing company with awesome people. My photography as a real business is brand new and I’m working so hard to get it going to become a viable career. On top of that we are slowly updating our house that we bought a year ago and I have several projects for that coming up, including a complete kitchen remodel.
I’m exhausted just typing those things. And I know that so many of you can relate. We try to juggle so many things and we get burnt out! Man, am I burnt out. So the thought is “well give something up and you won’t be so stressed.” How do you choose? Every one of those things are very important to me. My kids come first, but at the same time the other things are important too. Sound selfish? Maybe, but I really want to show my kids that we can achieve what we really want.
My home improvement projects come last, but I still try and make time because my home is important to me. Currently we (I) am painting all of the doors and trim. In addition we just bought all new door handles and hinges in a flat black to better match the updated look. I ordered the hinges and got them about 3 weeks ago, but we weren’t ready to put them on yet. Come this week we are finally ready! Well guess what?! I put them away so they weren’t sitting on my counter taking up space. And where did I put them you ask? I have NO IDEA! I have searched so many cabinets and I can’t find them. My brain is absolute garbage. It’s just taking up space not doing any of the work.
I mentioned how I’d get back to how this post is causing me extra work, right? Well I have been meeting with the SBDC (Small Business Development Center) at Butte College which has been so helpful! One of the things that we went over was my website host. I just redid my website (in case anyone thought it looked different). It took a lot of time, but I did it. It was published on a Sunday and by Friday my mentor said he needs me to make a new website one more time. My face fell flat. I was not happy. It had nothing to do with the content, he said it was great. However, there are limitations with my current host that he wants me to avoid later down the road. It makes sense, but it sucks. I will do it, but don’t want to. One of the main pain points is that I will have to manually transfer all of my current blog posts to the new site. It has to be done so just rip the band-aid off. I’m just not ready for the cost and the work that it requires so here we are.
Back to the point though. So many times we get down on ourselves and complain. Honestly, sometimes we need to complain. I’m not above it. That one sentence in the video I watched really made me take stock of what I’m doing and acknowledge my struggles. This shit is hard. Raising kids in and of itself is a nightmare at times. I’m trying really hard not to raise assholes and there are moments I think I’m failing (don’t judge me). I may fail at all of these things, who knows. I am fighting for the things I truly want in life and am willing to sacrifice a little (maybe a lot) of my sanity to get there.
My husband has been absolutely amazing in supporting me through all of this even if he works his butt off and isn’t always home when I could use a break or a helping hand. And now when I bring up a struggle with my business he starts with “how much does it cost?” to which I get huffy and don’t want to talk to him. In all fairness starting a business is expensive.
Being a mom is hard. Working full time with kids is exhausting. Starting a business is a whole new ball game. Why do I think I can do all 3 at the same time and add home improvement?? I am constantly asking myself this. Maybe I like the pain. Mostly it’s because I want what comes from all of it. I’m tired of putting everything off and thinking maybe later so I’ve decided to start somewhere.
What are your excuses? What are you putting off? I can’t be the only one with these feelings.
For now, I got this. I’m going to continue what I’m doing. I may stop along the way for a little pitty party and then get right back to it.
PS: I feel like I’m all over the board with this post; welcome to my messy brain Also, below are a few recent pictures from my life: new logo, my team @ work dressed as Superheroes and Villains, my kids in costume, and me being goofy while removing a door.